A Very DeadX-mas
by loveandmagic9913
Summary: Laura's visiting Logan for the holidays, and a very unexpected guest decides to do the same. (some DeadX -what I call the ship- flirting and fun)
1. Chapter 1

**A Very DeadX-mas!**

**A/N: I just love my title!**

**Disclaimer: Can I please own them? Please? Please? Pretty please?**

The sun left a golden hue on the horizon as it lowered across the sky. Laura watched the sunset, and she tried to relax against the tree but she couldn't shake the pungent odor of gun powder and Mexican food from her heightened sense of smell. She sat up straight as footsteps crunched over the thick snow through the trees. Whoever it was would walk right past her. She pulled her legs up and perched on the branch, waiting for the person to come into view. He whistled what sounded like, "Grandma got run over by a reindeer' as he walked beneath the tree to her left and into her line of sight. Dressed head to toe in a red and black suit, the muscled man also wore a belt and holsters packed full of artillery along with two katanas strapped to his back. She angled her head and also noticed the undersized shirt he wore that proclaimed, "Dear Santa, define Naughty." She recognized him from an excursion that took her to the future when she was part of X-Force. Still she didn't approve of him being so close to Logan's school.

Laura twisted on her branch and leapt down behind him. He spun and jerked his head back to avoid her fist. She swung with her opposite fist, and he caught her hand which she jerked free before swinging a high kick to his face. He stepped back and dodged her foot, and she advanced on him with a flip in the air resulting in another kick in his direction that he also dodged expertly. He swung his fist, and she ducked. She punched out to his stomach and he jumped back. He swung again, and she twisted to the side. He kicked out, and she raised her knee to block him. Anyone watching would've thought they were displaying a well choreographed dance. He kicked again, and she jumped over his leg and landed in a crouch where she finally landed a kick to his torso, pushing him backwards into the trunk of the tree. She jerked back up and pushed out her claws, and then pinned him to the tree with the claws of her right hand at his throat. She was halted when she felt the chill of cold steel of a gun barrel pressed to the bare skin of her stomach. She glanced down to the weapon and backed up to the man's masked face.

"Don't bring claws to a gun fight, Baby." His mask stretched out with his grin.

With no words, she brought her left hand in and swiped it across the barrel of his gun before he had a chance to pull the trigger. Before either could make another move to attack, heavy footsteps approached.

"X?" Logan's voice called out. "Laura? You out here?"

He just passed the trees and saw Laura standing there with her guest, claws to his throat and sliced gun pointed to her stomach. Logan growled.

"What are ya doin' here, Deadpool?"

"Merry X-mas!" Deadpool raised his hands in the air as he shouted. "Santa says you've been a bad boy this year and sent me as your punishment."

Logan groaned. "Wilson, get outta here before turn my back and I let her finish what she started."

"First, I'm insulted. Second, come on, Ol' Man. I got no one to spend it with since Spiderman refuses to tell me where he's at with the hot-redhead he's still dating. Besides, doesn't the X in X-mas stand for you?" He looked at Laura. "Or does it stand for you? I really wouldn't mind spending-."

"Deadpool!" Logan barked.

Deadpool looked at Logan and then glanced back to Laura's chest. She narrowed her eyes at him. He turned back to Logan. "Please, I'll be good. I'll go to bed early, and I promise not to drink all your beer."

Logan groaned again and crossed his arms in front of him as he debated with himself. "Okay, you can stay, but you're not allowed to sleep here and if you drink any of my stuff, you're replacing it in the morning."

"Yay!" Wade clapped his hands.

"And one last rule." Logan held up a finger. "Do not touch her." He nodded to Laura. "We don't need to be moppin' up yer blood tonight. It's a holiday."

"Ah . . . but Dad!" Deadpool whined.

"And don't call me that!" Logan shouted. "Come on, Laura. Let's get back inside." He turned and began walking to the building.

Laura kept her eyes trained on Wade. He turned back to her and smiled under his mask. He nodded to her claws still centimeters from his throat. She didn't lower them. He raised his free hand and lightly touched the tip of her claws and pushed them slightly until she pulled her arm back and stepped away.

He fell into step beside her as the approached the school, and he nodded toward her claws. "Pretty sharp. What do you use? Stone? Sandpaper?"

"Human bones." Laura replied without looking at him.

He pressed a hand to his chest. "A woman after my own heart."

"Stop talking." Laura commanded.

"If only it were that easy." Wade commented and looked down at her. "Speaking of which-."

"Wilson!" Logan yelled back at him.

"Fine! Sheesh!" Wade held up his hands. "I get it! I'll wait until you're not around."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Of course, I own nothing, but damn do I wish I did.**

Logan opened the door and pushed Wade to a halt, while he stepped aside for Laura to enter. Mistletoe dangled just above the door frame.

"Ah come on. It's only an innocent harmless holiday tradition." Wade grinned.

Logan glared at him. "Nothin' about you is innocent or harmless. If ya wanna stay, yur not gonna touch her."

"Come on, Pops, where's your holiday spirit?" Wade pushed his hand aside and entered the building. "Doesn't she need a little jolly-holly this season too? Because I got-."

"Finish that sentence and yull be pickin' your head up off the floor." Logan growled. "I'm watchin' ya, Wilson. One wrong move and-."

"Are you done with the hyperbole? I'm ready to get this party started!" Wade walked away and scanned the room. A large tree sat in the middle decorated from top to bottom with all the traditional trimmings and a few untraditional decorations. The building was packed full of mutants. It appeared both schools decided to join together for the joyous season and set aside their differences, and if those differences happened to not be cast so aside, he was at least guaranteed a great show. Speaking of which, his eyes caught the deadly girl from outside as she wandered to the far corner of the room and sat on an ottoman and held a steaming mug in her hands. Wade shot a look at Logan, noticed he was caught up in a conversation with Jubilee and the Cajun. He chuckled to himself as the voices started in on the jokes. _**A vampire and a blind Cajun walk into a bar. **_**I didn't think he was blind anymore.**_**No, the blind one walks into the bar literally.**_**Seriously, though, I think he can see.**_**The bartender asks the vampire, "What'll you have?" And she says, "Nevermind, it's on the house." Then she kills the Cajun!**_**You need to work on that punchline.**

Wade slipped through the crowd of mutants, and he walked up to Laura. "I've checked it twice, and I'm sure you're on my 'naughty' list."

"I believe you were warned to stay away from me." Laura didn't even look at him.

He scoffed. "I'm not afraid of your Fearless Originator. Besides," He grinned. "Wanna meet Santa's little helper? He's not so little, if you know what I mean . . ."

Laura ignored his perverted comment. "It is not him whom you should fear?"

"You talk tough for someone who got her ass handed to her out there in the snow." He crossed his arms in front of him.

She looked up at him and arched a remarkably perfect eyebrow. "You truly must be insane if that is what winning looks like to you."

He smirked. "I'm not outside bloodied and beaten; I'm standing right here and enjoying the view. Now, admit defeat and I'll help you get off my Naughty list."

"It is hard to decide what about you is more obnoxious, your arrogance or your mouth." Laura stood and stepped around him. Before she could cross the room, her path was drawn to a halt when an attractive young man about her age with metal hands accidentally stepped out in front of her. "I'm sorry, Julian."

"For what?" Bitterness laced his icy tone. He glanced over her shoulder toward Deadpool. "I get now why you dumped me. First Gambit and now him. I just can't keep up."

Laura fought to keep the anger off her face, though it shown through her eyes. Her grip on her mug tightened, and she could feel the thick ceramic begin to fracture. "That is not-."

"I should've guessed with your _history_." Julian's tone implied he meant something potentially embarrassing.

Her temper flared. Snikt! As her claws pushed through the flesh and muscle between her knuckles, her hands tightened around her mug so that it shattered. Shards of the ceramic glass cut into her fingers and echoed as they hit the floor with the still scalding liquid splattering over arms and chest. The room fell silent and everyone watched them. Anxiety weighted down the room as everyone waited for Laura to attack.

Laura's heart beat rampant in her chest, and she smelled the fear in the air from every direction except from the man standing behind her. The sound of fast beating hearts met her ears, and she knew what was expected. What they expected. She wanted to attack, the deepest part of her wanted to make him bleed just as her hands now gushed blood. Her healing factor wouldn't allow the wounds to heal until she steadied her emotions. But she desired more to be someone other than who they expected to be. Someone who wasn't such a monster . . . or robot. She steadied her heartbeat with a shallow breath and locked eyes with Julian. Laura dropped what was left of her mug, blood splashed to the floor with the crash of glass. With one last hard look at her old crush, she left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Again, nothing is mine. This wouldn't be just fanfiction if it was. Obviously.**

Darkness clung to the windows Laura leaned against, and she stared outside as the fresh wounds on her wrists began to close up. Her hands had already healed except for the tiny scars she would be left with for the next hour. The scars always took longer on her than others with healing factors due to her ability to control her healing factor through her emotions. She heard the door creak open, but she didn't look to see who it was. She didn't need to. His odor was unmistakable.

"You should leave." She didn't even bother casting him a warning look. One of her claws was already out, and she pushed the others forward just enough so they barely poked out from under her flesh, standing at the ready.

"Why? Don't you want to see the special gift I have in the sack for you?" The masked merc stepped up beside her and stretched an arm above her head, dangling a piece of mistletoe between them. Just as he leaned in, she seized his throat and twisted so he was slammed against the window.

Laura saw he was now wearing a Santa Hat. "From whom did you take that?"

"Ah, come on! No kiss? But it's Kiss-mas!" Wade shouted.

Laura rolled her eyes and ignored his complaint. "From whom did you steal the hat?"

Wade pushed her off of him and brushed off the front of his holiday shirt. He tugged a loose string from the shirt and used it to tie the mistletoe to the front of his belt buckle. He looked back up at her when he'd finished with a gleam in his eye that she might've seen had he not been wearing a mask. "I just borrowed it from your boyfriend's unconscious body."

She narrowed her deadly gaze on him. "What did you do?"

"Nothing." He shrugged. "He just drank the wrong glass of eggnog and decided to take a nap . . . on the floor . . . in the hallway . . . behind the stairs . . . with a black eye." Then he added in a hushed tone. "Be quiet! I said we wouldn't tell her about the broken nose."

Laura growled and started to walk past him.

"Where are you going? I didn't even get to share my candy cane with you yet." He whined.

"I must get him to the infirmary." She replied and continued across the room.

"Wow, this is the unhealthiest relationship I've ever seen. And trust me, I'm an expert in unhealthy relationships. I should be awarded just for my service in the field." He leaned back against the window. "If anything, the therapists of all my ex-girlfriends can give me a stipend of the cash that they're getting from all the business they wouldn't have gotten if it wasn't for me."

"He is not my boyfriend." Laura had stopped walking, but she still faced the door.

"Oh so you _are_ single. Well in that case, how about we make this a not-so-silent night?" Wade grinned.

Laura ignored him and continued walking to the door.

"You're not going to sit in the corner again are you?" He called after her.

"I am going to be alone." She answered and pulled the door open.

"Well that's no way to spend the holiday." He stuck his hands on his hips and struck a clichéd superhero pose.

Laura looked at him over her shoulder. "I am comfortable alone."

"So am I." He then added, "It's hard to be alone though when you always have voices talking to you." He shrugged. "Still, just because you're okay with being by yourself doesn't mean you don't desire companionship."

She released the door and faced him. Her eyes appeared alight with somewhat of a mixture of surprise and confusion.

"What?" Wade asked, but she didn't reply. "I'm not just full of pick up lines that will convince you to join me in a sleigh ride! I can say some pretty profound things too!" _**Really? That's the first time I heard you say anything profound. **_**Yeah and you're really not convincing her to join you in anything. **He turned to his right and pointed his finger as if talking to someone. "Shut up! You're not helping me make my point."

"I do not need company." She turned back to the door.

"Come on." He stepped towards her, but he didn't reach out to touch her. "This is a time to spend with family and people-"

"Then where's yours?" She countered as she turned back on him. Her eyes were bright with anger as the memory of her mother's death burned in her mind.

"Dead." Wade spoke as if the word no longer held any meaning to him.

"So is mine."

"What about the short hairy one and his friends?" Wade countered.

"They fear me. They care but they are too afraid." She brushed her hair over her shoulders and crossed her arms in front of her, pushing her chest up.

Wade heard her add something else to the end, but he couldn't decipher what it was. His attention was lower. He shook his head. "Sorry, I didn't hear what you said over the sound of your boobs calling to me."

"Nobody came to check on me." Laura repeated her statement without inflection.

Deadpool dramatically motioned to himself. "And _this_ man your are being introduced to is named Deadpool or Wade, but he is most commonly referred to as Nobody by pretty girls with low self esteem." Laura raised an eyebrow but didn't speak. "Is that what you want? Attention?"

"No." Laura's tone grew low, deadly. She furrowed her brow with sharp lines in her angry expression.

"Then what do you want?" He almost shouted.

"I do not know, and if I did, I would not tell you." She dropped her arms to her side, and she pushed the tip of her claws out from beneath her skin, using the brief spike of pain as a distraction from the emotions churning in her brain.

"Why not? Like you said, nobody else is here willing to listen." He argued.

"I also said I do not need company or companionship." She spun on her boots and walked out, leaving the door to swing closed behind her.

Wade pulled open the door and called down the hall. "Ah come on, you're making it very hard to stuff your stocking." As soon as the words left his mouth, he chuckled to himself at the double entendre implied. _**That's what he said!**_**It's funny because that IS what he said!** Laughter joined in with him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Dear Santa, for Christmas can I please own all of Marvel and all their rights? Pretty please? I've been a goo-. I've been well beha-. Nevermind. Coal again, I see.**

Wade wandered through the halls singing his own versions of Christmas Carols.

"I hit grandma with a reindeer . . . riding home from Santa's on Christmas Eve. You can say there's no such thing as Santa, but I stole his sleigh, so I believe."

"I won't be home for Christmas. You can't count on me. Please have guns, and some C4, and bombs under the tree. Christmas Eve won't find me, where the red light aims. I won't be home for Christmas, be thankful for your dreams."

"You better watch out, I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna pout, I'm gonna tell you why. Santa Claus is coming to get me. He sees me when I'm sleeping. He knows when I'm awake. He knows when I've been bad or good, so I'll be bad for his own sake."

"Thoughts of roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost breaking in my nose. Yuletide gunfire-"

"Why are you singing those songs wrong?" Laura interrupted him as she stepped out of her room ahead of him.

"I'm not. I'm singing them my way. It's called being creative." Wade motioned with his hands as he spoke, but one of his hands held a candy cane and the other held a wrapped gift.

"Where did you get the present?" She asked.

"I got it for you." He held it out to her.

"Who did you steal it from?" She sighed and took the gift.

"No one. I took it from one of the rooms down the hall. It wasn't using it. Unless the furniture comes to life like in that Disney movie, in that case, I hope the closet doesn't come hunt me down and steal my lunch money." He rambled on until he saw her set it down behind her door. "Well aren't you gonna open it after I went through all that trouble?"

"You stole it." She argued.

"How dare you!" He shouted. "After all my hard work trying to find you the perfect thing and you just cast it aside like it means nothing to you. I knew I meant nothing to you, but I didn't think it would end like this." Wade let out an exaggerated weeping sound, and he hunched over and covered his eyes with his hands.

Laura froze, not knowing what to say. Normal human interaction confused her enough, and just when she thought she was beginning to grasp the basics, in walks this guy throwing her for a loop. "I . . . do not understand."

"Fine, I guess I can share my candy cane." He looked up at her with a big grin stretching his mask. Then he pointed to the candy cane in his hand. "But not this one. You want the bigger one."

Laura narrowed her eyes at him and started to shut her door. He wedged his foot between the door and the frame. She placed her foot right in front of his and pushed her claw out so it stabbed through his boot and into his foot.

"Ah!" He refused to budge though. "Come on. How can I get you to have fun?" She didn't reply, and an idea popped into his head, causing him to smile. "Ya ever have a snowball fight?"

A faint smile appeared on her lips before fading into nothing. "We must use the back if we are to do this without Logan's detection."

"Baby, you saying those words makes you look like the Angel ready to top my Christmas Tree." Wade chuckled.

Laura pulled her foot back, pulling her claw from his foot. She stepped away from the door and grabbed a jacket and thick pair of gloves. Laura closed the door to her room and led him outside down the back way and away from prying eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Nope, don't own anything.**

Laura locked her eyes on her target. The red and black figure darted through the trees ahead of her. She watched him, looking for a pattern to count, to calculate her attack. To her dismay, there was no pattern. He ran around more like a squirrel looking for his buried nuts. She knew a ground attack wouldn't work, and she leapt onto the branch of the nearest tree. She pulled herself up high into the tree and crossed the other trees carefully until she was almost on top of him. He froze underneath her tree, as if listening. She steadied her breathing and picked up a handful of snow off the branch above her head, and she crushed the soft flakes together in her hand to form a ball. Just as she finished and aimed, Wade turned and looked at her, tossing a snowball at her. Laura avoided the attack by doing a free fall off the back of the branch she stood on. She pulled her legs up into a flip as she neared the ground, and she tossed the snowball at him as soon as she landed. He leapt over her snowball, and he threw another of his own at her. She lowered herself to duck underneath the snowball, and she grabbed two handfuls of snow packed together and tossed both at him. Wade yanked a branch off a tree and lifted it like a bat. As soon as the first snowball reached his range, his hit it with the branch, and he dodged the second by sliding further to his right.

"Is that all you got?" Wade taunted her.

Laura arched an eyebrow and stood up. She charged towards him and forced her claws out. He started to back up, but she leapt straight for him. Laura landed on him knocking him over, and she ended up straddling him with her feet pulled back and stabbing her foot claws through his calves. He tried to be angry, but he couldn't keep from smiling beneath his mask because of the compromising position they were in.

"It's supposed to be a snowball fight, but if you want to change the rules, I'm willing to play along." He remarked and fought his every urge to touch her.

She lifted her right hand to show a large snowball she'd formed when he was distracted by their current position, and she threw the snowball as hard as she could at his masked face.

"Ah!" He brushed the snow off his face and pointed at her. "You cheated!"

She shrugged and retracted her foot claws from his legs. "You did not state there was no to be no contact or give any other rules that fell under those parameters."

"We weren't playing with rules." He stated as though it were obvious.

"Then how did I cheat?" Laura asked.

"Because you won." He crossed his arms, and he watched Laura show a faint proud smile before it faded once more. Wade smirked to himself as he brought his legs up around her and forced her back so now she lay on the ground and he was straddling her. "Well if we are using contact, maybe we could . . ."

"Did you hear that?" Laura jerked her head toward the direction of the school.

Wade followed her line of sight. "What?"

"This." Before he could look in her direction, Laura slammed her fist into his jaw so hard it cracked, and she pushed him off of her. She stood and brushed off her pants, and she walked toward the school. "We should go inside. I am cold and would like to eat."

Wade felt his jaw as the bones healed, and he stood up after her. Normally he would retaliate, but being that it was Christmas and that he got distracted by watching her walk away and speak of food, he decided against it. He jogged to catch up to her. "Good because I could really go for some tacos about now."

"I do not think anyone made tacos." Laura replied and watched his shoulders deflate.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Do you think this would just be fanfiction if I owned this?**

Laura led Wade through the back entrance again, and she showed him the back way to get to the kitchen while avoiding the main halls where everyone was gathered. She poured two mugs of hot chocolate from the large carafe sitting on the counter, and she handed Wade one. He took it and pulled his mask up just enough to allow him to take a sip before replacing it.

"This is good and all, but do you have any rum?" Wade asked.

"Logan has some in his office." Laura replied.

Laura handed Wade an empty plate and grabbed one for herself and stepped up to the counter where the holiday dinner lay untouched as of yet. She piled her plate with a variety of foods, while Wade took a quarter of the ham for himself along with as much of everything else that he could fit on his plate. He followed her back out of the room and through the mansion passed off as a school until they reached Logan's office. Laura sat in Logan's chair and watched Wade set his stuff down before going through Logan's collection of liquor. He picked up a large bottle of spiced rum and mixed it in with his hot chocolate until it reached the brim. He offered some to Laura, who declined, before taking a long drink from the bottle and returning it to its rightful place. Wade sat across from Laura and dug into their food.

Wade rambled on during their meal, from asking questions to filling the void with unnecessary chatter. Laura remained silent mostly, only speaking when the occasion called for it. After the two finished their meals, they remained where they were.

"So you're Old and Ugly's daughter?" Wade asked.

"No, I am his clone, though he has legally adopted me." She replied.

"Okay, and you're how old?" He asked and then added. "Not that it matters to me. Age ain't nothing but a number."

"Nineteen." Laura answered.

"Good that means Grumpy is the only one who can hurt me. No jailtime! Wooo!" He shouted and pumped his fists in the air.

Laura raised an eyebrow but remained silent.

"Real talk though," He rested his arm against the desk and turned to the side. "What's a girl like you do to keep all the guys like me away?"

Snikt! He watched with a grin as her claws came out and then he said, "Now, see that just excites me, so that's not the answer to my question."

Before Laura could retort, the door to the office pushed open and Jubilee froze in the door way, looking between the two trained killers. "X . . ."

"I am fine. He is keeping me company." Laura replied before she could even utter the rest of her sentence.

"You never ask for company." Jubilee watched Deadpool carefully as he stole a piece of ham of Laura's plate.

"It seems with him, you get the company regardless if one asked or not." Laura replied and slid her plate closer to the masked man.

"Hey, you enjoyed playing with me, and you know it!" He argued.

Laura's brow furrowed in lines before smoothing out as she turned back to Jubilee. "Did you require me for something?"

"Uh . . . yeah. Logan asked me to find you so you could exchange gifts with everyone." Jubilee explained.

"I did not get a gift for anyone," Laura replied.

"Well some of us got gifts for you," Jubilee said.

"Did anyone get me presents?" Wade put a hand to his chest.

Jubilee shook her head and stepped out of the room. Laura rose and followed her out, and Wade gathered her plate in his hands and followed after her, eating as they walked through the halls to the main room.

Wade let Laura lead him to the corner of the room where she was comfortable to observe the festivities. After a moment of watching many of her acquaintances be joyous over their gifts, Laura found herself more interested in observing Wade, who was at the moment most interested in cleaning her plate. Once the food was gone, he sat her plate to the side and took a sip from his mug of spiked hot chocolate. He looked to her, just now realizing she was watching him. He opened his mouth, ready to ask why she was staring, but just then he noticed the faintest of smiles crossing her lips. She pointed above his head to the mistletoe dangling above his head. Before he knew what was happening, she leaned in and kissed him on the lips. He thought it would just be a quick peck but she hesitated from pulling away and it even felt like maybe she kissed him just a little bit harder, like maybe she knew just exactly what to do. He started to kiss her back, but just as his arm was encircling her back, time stopped with one thunderous roar.

"WILSON!" Logan's voice shook the whole room, even the tree beside them. "Get your damn hands off her!"

Wade jerked back and looked at Logan across the room. The tiny man's face was bright red, and his claws were out. He looked like he might've grown three sizes. Wade glanced back to Laura.

"Merry X-mas." She spoke softly so no one else would hear except for those with preternatural hearing. "I would run now if I were you."

Wade grinned and shrugged. "Nah, this is what I live for. We should pick this up later though."

Laura smiled again and shrugged before she walked away and back down the hall.

"Wait, what does that mean? Laura?" Wade shouted after her, ignoring the furious Wolverine running toward him as Laura disappeared from his view.

"I'm gonna kill you, Wade!" Logan growled just as he barreled into the fully suited man and tackled him to the ground. "Pixie, take down that damn mistletoe!"

"Ah, just what I look forward to every year!" Wade announced with a proud smile and drew one of his katanas.

**A/N: Yes, this is the final chapter. Merry Christmas! This was just a one off, so I do not believe I will be continuing this story into a series as I currently have my other main series I'm working on. If you are interested in reading more antics of Deadpool and X-23 as portrayed by me, you can check out my other story Trials of Blood, which is the beginning of my main series. I hope you enjoyed reading this. It was just fun to write and kind of an excuse to have Deadpool say Christmas Pick Up lines to X-23.**


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